Roommate Trouble
ShameSee, a couple months ago, my roommate walked in my boyfriend and I during...an intimate moment and she got really upset. I mean, yeah, I stupidly left my door open, but that was because I thought she'd be gone at class all day. Anyway, over the next few days she was still very upset because we're both Christian and we don't believe in premarital sex. So I can understand that she felt betrayed by me and my huge mistake. *thus my shame* She said it was also the first time she'd ever seen that, even though she kinda just saw our legs. Anyway, I apologized multiple times and we talked about it tons and we even video-chatted with my parents about ways to get past it. The whole time I was thinking, I don't understand why this is so traumatic for her. I mean, we're good friends, but I had previously told her that I'd broken my promise to remain pure. I just didn't get why this was affecting her so much and why she was treating it as a personal offense.
So in order to be cooperative and make amends, I agreed that my boyfriend wouldn't come in the apartment at all for a month. We mostly returned to normal during that month, but then, a few days before the time limit was up, she started acted a little cold to me. And on the day the time was up, she brought it up, saying that she didn't want to think about it but the month was over. We agreed that my boyfriend would come over only while she was at class and her internship because she explained that it was like "out of sight out of mind." And then, a couple days later my boy friend and I prepared to leave the apartment because she sent me a text saying she was coming home. We went upstairs to my apartments computer lab to find her sitting there, so we abruptly turned around and went to the gym. I tried to text what that was about, but she said we'd talk about it later. Then when I got home she was locked up in her room. She holed up there for a few days. One day I came home and her door was open so I said, Hey, let's talk, but she shut the door in my face. Then I decided, okay, I'll write her a note. So I wrote a note apologizing for anything I'd done wrong and saying that I was ready to talk when she was. I found a note by my door later that day that said just texting me to say she was coming home made her think about the incident and that when she saw my boyfriend at the door of the computer lab she snapped. Here's a quote: "Just thinking about your betrayal makes my blood boil." At that point I said, okay, my boyfriend will no longer come in the apartment in a note. Then she came out of her room and spoke to me a little for the rest of the school term. She went home for break and I stayed at the apartment, and we agreed we could probably start over once the break ended and she came back.
Well, now it's the new semester. She came back Tuesday (it's now Thursday) and I haven't seen her at all. We post our school schedules on the fridge and when I looked at hers, she has at least 6 classes, as many as 10! The average student takes 4, maybe 5! For those of you that have actually read all of this, I ask you, what am I to make of this reaction? I speculate she might be taking this many classes in order to finish her schooling as quickly as possible and be away from me. I don't know if I'm reading into this too much, but I JUST DON'T GET IT!!!!!! Why is she so extremely affected still?!?! It's been almost 3 months! Why is she treating this like it's something I did TO her? This is my own problem. She's hardly involved. I just don't understand. And she pretty much refuses to talk about it. I'm trying to be understanding and put myself in her position, but I certainly would not have behaved like this at all. Agh, so what do you think guys? I seriously am confused.
Friends/Watchers in Alphabetical Order
Peoples I Know in Real Life
Clubbies
My Club
Neutral
Optimism
Relief
Uneasy
